This is a script I finished a few weeks back. It’s a first draft, so please ignore spelling or grammar issues (if there are any – I think it sorted them all out). It’s called ‘Where There Be Thieves’ and is a superhero/horror comic. It is the first eight pages, plus the cover page. I really enjoyed writing, especially the names of the bad guys. They were a hell of a lot of fun to come up with.
This post is going to be a lengthy. The formatting doesn’t look exactly like it does in Word, but it is pretty close.
WHERE THERE BE THIEVES
By Travis STUNT
Eight page crime/horror comic script.
Date of last revision: 5th January 2015
PAPA FREAK: Overall leader of the gang. He is huge, violent looking thug of a man, who has been in a thousand fights and won them all. There are knives all around him – in the chair/throne he is sitting on, in his belt, jacket, everywhere.
BIG KILLA: Big, mean motherfucker. Leader of the crime group (which includes the next three).
RAGGITY WORM: Generic thugs. Still look pretty bad-ass though.
DIZZEE BOOTAY: PAPA FREAK’s right hand man. Looks like a pimp. Distinctive glasses.
THE FORSAKEN: Could be the spawn of Hell, could be a lunatic dressed up as a demonic creature. Go crazy. No real guidelines needed.
PATROLMAN: Typical patrolman.
DETECTIVE: Typical, cliqued detective. Grizzled.
Occasionally I’ll use camera angles, descriptions of particular shots I have envisioned. Please take these only as a guide. Use whatever works best. If my description sucks, chuck it out. I’m not sensitive like that.
PAGE ONE – SIX PANELS
Exterior – night. Three gang members are walking down a dirty alleyway, heading back to their clubhouse. They are large, tough, angry looking people. One is carrying a bag of some description. They all are carrying guns concealed under their clothing. These can be seen – gun grip popping out the top of the belt or poking out from under a shirt. They all seem pretty happy with themselves.
- BIG KILLA: We smoked his ass, yo!
- RAGGETY WORM: Ya, we did, man!
- SHEISTY: And got a fat bag of loot to show for it.
All three have arrived at a door leading from the alleyway into a warehouse. There is a closed viewing hole at eye level. BIG KILLA is reaching out to knock.
- BIG KILLA: The boss man is gunna love us.
BIG KILLA raps his knuckles on the door.
Close up on the view hole. It has slid open. A pair of angry looking eyes are now peering through. The eyes belong to DIZZEE BOOTAY.
- DIZZEE BOOTAY: WHAT?!
BIG KILLA is looking closely through the hole at DIZZEE. BIG KILLA looks extra angry.
- BIG KILLA: Yo! Open the damn door, you idiot! Tell Papa Freak Big Killa is here.
The door is opened and the gang members are moving inside. Above, on the roof of the warehouse, we can catch a glimpse of our anti-hero, THE FORSAKEN
PAGE TWO – THREE PANELS
Large panel. BIG KILLA, RAGGITY WORM and SHEISTY are standing in front of a large gang member and leader of the gang, PAPA FREAK. He is huge, violent looking thug of a man, who has been in a thousand fights and won them all. There are knives all around him – in the chair/throne he is sitting on, in his belt, jacket, everywhere. DIZZEE stands next to him. If room permits, other random gang members can be seen doing gang member stuff.
- TITLE: WHERE THERE BE THIEVES
- PAPA FREAK: Big Killa, my main man. What have you got for me?
- BIG KILLA: Some major cashola, Papa Freak. Knocked over a gas station.
Close on PAPA FREAK. He doesn’t look impressed.
- PAPA FREAK: A gas station?
- PAPA FREAK: A little … small scale for you, isn’t it? Big Killa?
- BIG KILLA (OP): Well … I mean we … the cash was good –
PAPA FREAK and BIG KILLA look up as they here a crash somewhere in the warehouse.
- SFX: CRASH!
- PAPA FREAK: What the f –
PAGE THREE – FOUR PANELS
PAPA FREAK begins organising his troops to meet the potential threat. DIZZEE BOOTAY and RAGGITY WORM and heading off towards out of the room and towards the noise. Both have handguns drawn.
- PAPA FREAK: Dizzee Bootay, Raggity Worm – you two find out what that noise was.
- DIZZEE BOOTAY: Yes Boss.
More commotion from off panel. DIZZEE and RAGGITY WORM stop at the door, hesitating.
- SFX (OP): BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
- UNSEEN THUG (OP): ARRGGHH!
PAPA FREAK is out of his throne now. He is screaming in anger at DIZZEE BOOTAY and RAGGITY WORM.
- PAPA FREAK: MOVE YOU TWO USELESS PIECES OF SHIT!
Closer on the door that DIZZEE and RAGGITY WORM are going through. They move through is guns aimed straight out in front. They look terrified.
PAGE FOUR – SIX PANELS
DIZZEE and RAGGITY WORM have moved into a darkened area of the warehouse complex. It is a larger room, with packing crates and boxes stacked high. Shadows are everywhere. DIZZEE has reached out to a light switch on a nearby wall. It doesn’t work.
- DIZZEE BOOTAY: Shit!
Both men spin towards a noise, guns aimed.
- SFX: creek
Both men swing around again towards another noise. This time they open fire.
- SFX: BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
They approach the area they just shot up. There is nothing there except destroyed crates and boxes. RAGGITY WORM is standing slightly behind DIZZEE.
- DIZZEE BOOTAY: Nothing.
The clawed hand of THE FORSAKEN reaches out from the darkness behind RAGGITY WORM and grabs him by the shoulder. He half turns to see what it is.
- RAGGITY WORM: Huh?
THE FORSAKEN yanks RAGGITY WORM out of the panel, so that his legs and feet are the only things showing.
- RAGGITY WORM: AAIIIEEEE!
PAGE FIVE – SIX PANELS
Back in the room with PAPA FREAK, BIG KILLA and SHEISTY. BIG KILLA is holding a small machine gun at hip height. SHEISTY has a hand gun. Both have the guns point off panel towards the noises. PAPA FREAK has several knife blades held in between his fingers, ready to launch them at the killer when he makes his appearance.
- BIG KILLA: What the fuck is going on out there?!
- PAPA FREAK: Shut the fuck up.
Something is thrown through the door and into the room. We see it bounce several times, without really being able to tell what it is (it’s DIZZEE’s head, but don’t tell anyone yet).
- SFX: BUMP! Bump bump
The item stops, and, sure enough, it is DIZZEE’s head. BIG KILLA and SHEISTY look terrified.
- SHEISTY: Oh, fuck me.
- SHEISTY: That’s Dizzee’s head, Killa!
- BIG KILLA: I can see that, Sheisty, you idiot. I seen heads before.
Darkness. Someone has turned out the lights.
- BIG KILLA: Where’d the fuckin’ lights go?
- SHEISTY: We gunna die. We gunna die.
- SFX: creeek
Gun fire lights up the room. They hit nothing, but we can see another glimpse of THE FORSAKEN. Maybe a leg this time.
- SFX: RATATATAT!
- SFX: BAM BAM BAM
Darkness again as the gun fire stops.
- SHEISTY: ARRGGHH!
- BIG KILLA: SHEISTY!
PAGE SIX – FIVE PANELS
Larger panel. PAPA FREAK has lit a flare which has bathed the room in a red glow. There are still heavy shadows all around. BIG KILLA is looking down at the corpse of SHEISTY, whose head is now backwards. SHEISTY is very dead.
- BIG KILLA: fuck me
Again, a noise causes a reaction. PAPA FREAK spins around, looking for something behind him. BIG KILLA continues to stare at the corpse of SHEISTY.
- SFX: creek
- PAPA FREAK: Come out and face me, coward!
Close on BIG KILLA and a clawed hand punches through his chest. BIG KILLA’s face is contorted in agony, but no sound comes out. Blood and guts spray everywhere.
PAPA FREAK has turned to face BIG KILLA’s killer. He has blood and gore dripping from him.
- THE FORSAKEN (OP): I am your reckoning.
Small inset panel. Extreme close up on PAPA FREAK’s eyes. For the first time, there are showing fear.
- PAPA FREAK: Oh sweet Jesus …
PAGE SEVEN – SIX PANELS
Large panel. THE FORSAKEN stands in the room, facing PAPA FREAK. PAPA FREAK is still motionless, too terrified to move.
- THE FORSAKEN I cast judgement on you, Papa Freak.
- THE FORSAKEN And that judgement …
- THE FORSAKEN … is DEATH!
PAPA FREAK regains his composure and starts flinging his knives at THE FORSAKEN. Multiple knives fly out, seemingly simultaneously.
- SFX: FFT FFT FFT
THE FORSAKEN puts his forearm in front of his face and the knives slam into it.
Front on shot of THE FORSAKEN. He painlessly pulls a knife out of his arm.
Close up on the chest and face of THE FORSAKEN He looks pissed.
- THE FORSAKEN Pathetic.
A shot from outside the warehouse, similar to the shots on Page One.
- PAPA FREAK: NO NO NO ARRRGGHH!
PAGE EIGHT – FOUR PANELS
Outside the warehouse. Same shot as panel six page seven, except the sun is coming up. And there are lots of police cars with lights flashing stopped in the area.
A grizzled detective steps out of a car. A patrolmen approaches him. The patrolmen looks stressed.
- PATROLMAN: Sir! You gotta come see this.
The detective is entering the door to the warehouse. The patrolman follows him in, briefing him of the situation.
- PATROLMAN: A bum called it in. Said he heard gunfire.
- PATROLMAN: I got here a short time ago. Like I said on the radio, I haven’t touched nothing.
PAPA FREAK’s throne room. PAPA FREAK has been nailed to the wall with his own knives. He has been gutted, or similar. Whatever you want, really. He needs to look like someone has really done a number on him. On the wall behind him, in blood, has been painted the words ‘THE SINNERS WILL BE PUNISHED’. The detective looks shocked. In all his experience, he has never seen anything like this.
- DETECTIVE: Dear god…